The chocolate ingestion is going swimmingly. Who would have thought that 17 hours of non-stop highly calorific confectionery consumption could be so slippery. I think every square millimeter of internal surface area is now a slick chocolately expressway. I need only place a mars bar near to my lips and it slivers its way through at quite a pace. In fact, in the name of science I thought it would be useful to time how quickly I can process a highly calorific confectionery item…
So I attached a peice of string to a curly wurly (they have useful holes to tie string to) and set it on it’s merry way. I love doing science. Makes me feel all clever.
13.8 seconds later my curly wurly was out. Well… at least… part of it was. I’d clearly digested the bejeebus out of it. Woot!.
Now this gave me an idea. What if I was to tie the string ends together in a big loop and then use it to accelerate highly calorific confectionery through my body? This would surely increase the weight gain process that Matron wants me to achieve? I just had to give it a shot – you just don’t pass up ideas this good.
So I entangled 34 curly wurlys to the string and wrapped the other end of the string around a masonry drill.
0.3 of a second after I depressed the drill’s trigger, 32 of the curly wurlys had made it through, partially digested. Impressive, but sadly this is when I realised that my science experiment could have benefited from a little more design. The 33rd curly wurly was in fact my tongue.
*sigh*
Thankfully not that digested and suitable for a quick spot of re-attachment. Need to hold-fire on the highly calorific confectionery consumption whilst I await the glue to set.
Splendid.
