It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel... electrocuted...
       
     
The iPhone was invented earlier than you think
       
     
In science we trust
       
     
No rest for the wicked
       
     
Uncle Flibble was a remarkable stripper
       
     
The unwelcome welcome
       
     
Homing in on the perfect algorithm for the perfect date
       
     
Unkle Spike
       
     
Tom and Helen
       
     
The 2011 BoyZ iN Sink reunion tour turned out to be their last
       
     
Your name's not down, you're not coming in
       
     
Don't go down to level 42
       
     
It's not as easy as you think to shoot a laser straight
       
     
All sequins and smiles
       
     
When the time comes, I'll be waiting...
       
     
Protected
       
     
The cleaner
       
     
And as I inserted the key... it felt like it could turn either way...
       
     
Pliering you for all the information
       
     
Exercising your demons
       
     
Avast ye!
       
     
The unexpected international heavyweight boxing champion of the institution
       
     
B-Men: Magkneeto
       
     
B-Men: Mystaque
       
     
B-Men: Storm in a tea cup
       
     
B-Men: Cycleops
       
     
B-Men: Woolverine
       
     
Finally... a cure for Balloonitis
       
     
Tell me child... did you live a good life?
       
     
Red or dead
       
     
You can't hide anything from me
       
     
One day, someone would surely bite...
       
     
We might possibly consider a queue jump if this takes much longer
       
     
The power bath wasn't quite as refreshing as the power nap
       
     
They locked me away and said I was mad...
       
     
Available for sexy loving
       
     
This was going to be a swingers party to remember
       
     
The apple of my eye got stuck
       
     
My ideas are full of heads
       
     
New born
       
     
Xotob Wrinkle Cream
       
     
Tongue tied after tongue twisters
       
     
My new contact lenses will take some getting used to
       
     
Keeping my lenses in tip top condition
       
     
Pushing up daisies whilst simultaneously providing sustenance for worms
       
     
In an independent survey 99 out of 100 men said they preferred blondes
       
     
The worry
       
     
We can make you better...
       
     
We are but flesh and blood...
       
     
In hindsight, maybe professor Biggins shouldn't have brought his pet polar bear into the class today?
       
     
That'll teach me for eating a Vindaloo last night
       
     
I just love babies!!
       
     
An experienced user of the Ear-o-Tron 2000 can achieve a 53% ear cleaning success rate
       
     
And then the Flibblizer gun became sentient
       
     
Everything's normal. Nothing to see here. Move along now.
       
     
Eagerly anticipating the wet tea shirt competition
       
     
I was never any good at Movember
       
     
It was the last time they had a relay race in the nuclear reactor
       
     
The daily swim in the purification tanks of sector K9
       
     
The day they realised they needed to introduce drug testing at clown school
       
     
The mysterious case of the mysterious case
       
     
The other Cinderella
       
     
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel... electrocuted...
       
     
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel... electrocuted...

And here was me expecting that the end of the world might mean me being up to my ears in sea water. Apparently we're due some kind of Flibblocalypse or something. Crikey.

Maybe, also, you'd like to buy Mr Flibble's book?

The iPhone was invented earlier than you think
       
     
The iPhone was invented earlier than you think

Woot!

Another commission for Tom and Helen (again!). These guys have some amazing cameras so it was great to be able to shoot this beautiful specimen.

You know, I bet you'd love your own Flibble portrait, wouldn't you? Well, get in touch and let's work something out.

In science we trust
       
     
In science we trust

I've certainly given my full support to science by donating my brain to the best minds here in my lovely home. Sector G4, to be precise. Cell 15C. Just past the I scream parlour. Can't miss it. Very noisy.

Anyway... I digresss. 

Since I've donated my brain, I hear they're making great progress in jigsaws, concrete and parsnip purée. I'm expecting to hear of some major breakthrough in something knobble prize worthy, but it's only been a few years - still plenty of time before I need my brain back to control my most important bodily functions...

Maybe you’d like to buy Mr Flibble’s book too? That would be splendid.

No rest for the wicked
       
     
No rest for the wicked

Whilst there doesn’t ever seem to be any let up when you’re evil incarnate, at least your tea stays warm. Which is probably just as well because, well, there’s no time to drink it. Nope.

Uncle Flibble was a remarkable stripper
       
     
Uncle Flibble was a remarkable stripper

Wallpapers feared him.

Indeed, he couldn't walk into a wallpapered room without the distinct sound of the paper squealing in terror. But it was always a mystery how he achieved such rapid de-papering without the apparent need for any tools.

His only preparation seemed to be one of Matron's resplendently feisty curries the night before, but how could that possibly be linked to stripping paper?

Nobody to this day has been able to work it out.

Maybe you’d like to buy Mr Flibble’s book too? That would be splendid.

The unwelcome welcome
       
     
The unwelcome welcome

They told me not to go.  They said, "You failed your human imitation exams, you'll look funny."

"But" I said, "I only failed one bit, surely they'll welcome me?"

"No" they said.

"Fools" I thought.  So I didn't listen.  I took the next Warp-o-shuttle across the inter-universal planetscape and landed here on Earth.

I lasted precisely 43 seconds before I found myself at gunpoint, destined for a life of experimentation.

*sobs*

So, if you're seeing this back home, remember fellow Flibbloids, keep studying and don't mess up your exams.  They don't like people who look funny here...

Yup.

Homing in on the perfect algorithm for the perfect date
       
     
Homing in on the perfect algorithm for the perfect date

Whilst success hasn't arrived just yet, it's surely just a matter of time before I manage to crack the secret of how to go on the most perfectest date that's perfect in its perfection.

Sure, I've had a few mishaps along the way, and whilst I've yet to have a date last longer than 13.472 seconds, I'm certain I'll one day get to that first kiss.

One day...

Unkle Spike
       
     
Unkle Spike

Life was always hard for Uncle Spike.  He dreamed of being an international footballer, heading in winning goals to the rapturous applause of an adoring crowd, but instead was left modelling for dry scalp shampoo commercials.

He never really was much of a hit with the ladies either, despite his dry wit, dislike of heavy drinking  and sharp looks.

Yup.

Tom and Helen
       
     
Tom and Helen

Did you know Mr Flibble does commissions?

Now you do. This is Tom and Helen, and this was a wedding present from one of their generous friends.

Fancy something similar? Let me shoot you in my studio and produce something unforgettable for your wall. It's sure to be a talking point whether it's in your home, business or padded cell.

If that sounds like something you'd like, drop me a message and we'll see if we can make it happen.

You should note, I live in Cambridge (UK) so you'd need to get here for the magic to happen.

I promise it'll be a lot of fun.

 

The 2011 BoyZ iN Sink reunion tour turned out to be their last
       
     
The 2011 BoyZ iN Sink reunion tour turned out to be their last

On reuniting after a 13 year "artistic differences" split, everyone thought Donny D looked a little different.  But suspicions were put aside when Donny proved he knew all the lyrics, dance routines and answers to the seminal "Ask Boyz iN Sink Anything" Smash Hits magazine article.  

Even question 482, which admittedly none of the other band members could remember.

Details are sketchy on exactly how PT, Jason Lemon and The Rock lost their lives, but history records that it was just before they were due back on stage.

This established what was to be a sad year for boy band reunion tours, with 47 of the world's most prolific boy bands suffering a similar untimely fate.

Nobody ever say Donny D again.

Your name's not down, you're not coming in
       
     
Your name's not down, you're not coming in

Nope.

Nosiree.

Yup.

Don't go down to level 42
       
     
Don't go down to level 42

It's still not safe. 

Nope.

It's not as easy as you think to shoot a laser straight
       
     
It's not as easy as you think to shoot a laser straight

Apparently it takes practice.

And practice is probably better performed with slightly less feisty lasers...

There's a lesson here somewhere.

All sequins and smiles
       
     
All sequins and smiles

So ready to party it hurts.

When the time comes, I'll be waiting...
       
     
When the time comes, I'll be waiting...

...with my great balls of fire.

Maybe you’d like to buy Mr Flibble’s book too? That would be splendid.

Protected
       
     
Protected

Ready for anything...

The cleaner
       
     
The cleaner

There really are some jobs over in H-block that a cleaner shouldn't have to deal with...

And as I inserted the key... it felt like it could turn either way...
       
     
And as I inserted the key... it felt like it could turn either way...

I don't know why I felt the key should be plunged into the side of my brain, but after a tricky bit where I had to force it through my skull, it just kinda felt right.  Familiar even.  Almost like it had been there two years before.

It was snug, but also a little squishy, and there was a definite sense that, should I so desire, I could twist it left or right.

Hmmm… what to do?

Should I turn it?

Left or right?

Any clues?

Pliering you for all the information
       
     
Pliering you for all the information

There are things that should remain in your head... and then there are the things that can only be extracted with a certain level of persuasion. Down in sector 9G, they have ways to get that information.

Crikey.

Exercising your demons
       
     
Exercising your demons

Sometimes they need to come out. Letting them exercise inside is rubbish. They tend to leave all the weighty stuff around inside and care not for how you feel, and well, that just weighs you down.

Best to let them exercise.

Yup

Avast ye!
       
     
Avast ye!

Arrrr!

There 'ad better be rum.

Arrr!

Yup.

The unexpected international heavyweight boxing champion of the institution
       
     
The unexpected international heavyweight boxing champion of the institution

It was all a blur.  I got into the ring with Knuckles McGinty, Big fella, kinda terrifying.  I began to tremble, my knees made some kind of chirping sound and I remember feeling like I was going to sneeze... and then... well, I don't remember anything else.

1 round later I'm apparently the best boxer this side of Margate.

Crikey.

*sigh*

Yup.

B-Men: Magkneeto
       
     
B-Men: Magkneeto

Extraordinarily magnetic knees.

Extraordinarily extraordinary.

But sadly, only his knees, and potentially more debilitating to his arch super-villain career possibilities, just magnetic to spoons.

*Sigh*

Nobody really feared him.

Nope.

Yup.

B-Men: Mystaque
       
     
B-Men: Mystaque

Mystaque never quite got the hang of effective shape-shifting.  And as such, never really managed to pull-off convincing mimicking.

Nope.

Yup.

B-Men: Storm in a tea cup
       
     
B-Men: Storm in a tea cup

It wasn't the greatest power of the B-Men, but it occasionally came in useful if you were attending Mrs. Miggins' infamous afternoon tea sessions and you needed an excuse to get away.

Yup.

B-Men: Cycleops
       
     
B-Men: Cycleops

If he could build up enough charge in the dynamo, he was actually one of the most successful B-Men...

Sometimes...

Yup.

B-Men: Woolverine
       
     
B-Men: Woolverine

Blessed with adamantium kitting needles that thrust forth from his hands whenever he smelt wool, he had all the requisite ingredients to be the most fearsome knitter of all time. 

Sadly, however, he never actually quite got the hang of casting on.  Let alone off.

And nobody really seemed to need a knitting superhero, anyway.

Nope.

Yup.

Finally... a cure for Balloonitis
       
     
Finally... a cure for Balloonitis

Balloonitis is a cruel affliction that afflicts at least 17 people each year.  Sufferers complain of always feeling light-headed and have to endure cruel and constant taunts of "raspberry head" from children.  Worse, they live in fear of the effects of static electricity and can never wear jumpers or walk within 3.7 metres of a sheep.

But now, thanks to the pioneering work by Dr. Flibbleton, the disease can finally be cured.  The Dr. undertook daring research where he himself became contaminated, but in a chance discovery at an after work barbeque when his guests started hurling the undercooked kebabs at him, an idea literally popped into his head.

He'd have won the noble peace prize, but for the fact that his cure wasn't actually that quiet.

Yup.

Tell me child... did you live a good life?
       
     
Tell me child... did you live a good life?

Who knew death was such a keen gardener?  

Yup.

Red or dead
       
     
Red or dead

She's the meanest, baldest mother lucker in the institution.

I say baldest... because... just between you and me... she's not exactly hirsute... I have reasonable evidence to suggest it's not even her real luxurious red hair.

And I say lucker... because you wouldn't believe how clumsy she is and yet how many seemingly perilous pitfalls she's managed to avoid.

It's a wonder she survived six months, let alone 39 years.

Still.

You don't mess with her.

And I say "her" in the loosest terms.  That's not even that clear either...

Ruthless, though.

Totally.

You can't hide anything from me
       
     
You can't hide anything from me

Nothing.

One day, someone would surely bite...
       
     
One day, someone would surely bite...

It's a numbers game.

Dorothy distributed (hundreds of) thousands of redeemable tokens.

Someone had to take her up on the offer, right?

Surely someone.

She never lost hope.

Yup.

We might possibly consider a queue jump if this takes much longer
       
     
We might possibly consider a queue jump if this takes much longer

We've been waiting a good few days for this bus to turn up and the queue just doesn't seem to be moving.

Still... best to give it a little while longer before we do anything rash, but really... this is getting ridiculous.

*sigh*

The power bath wasn't quite as refreshing as the power nap
       
     
The power bath wasn't quite as refreshing as the power nap

So when I heard about all of the benefits of power napping, I thought I could maybe take  it to the next level.

My power licking and power sniffing worked brilliantly and power blinking was so splendidly splendiferous that my enhanced blink times meant I literally didn't miss a thing.

I was feeling bionic.

So hot on the heels of such successful innovation, I tried power bathing.

In a word... idioticFlibblewhenwillyoueverlearn.

What was I thinking?

*sigh*

They locked me away and said I was mad...
       
     
They locked me away and said I was mad...

...but what do they know...

Available for sexy loving
       
     
Available for sexy loving

Oooh yeah...

This was going to be a swingers party to remember
       
     
This was going to be a swingers party to remember

They sounded so lovely on the phone.

Yup.

The apple of my eye got stuck
       
     
The apple of my eye got stuck

Now what am I to do?

I suppose I'll need to keep my eye peeled for a solution.

*sobs*

My ideas are full of heads
       
     
My ideas are full of heads

Accidentally got my head stuck in a light bulb...

*sobs*

New born
       
     
New born

Matron suggested I experience birth again.

I had no idea how tricky it would be to convince a chicken to eat me.  But after finding a chicken that loved the taste of Marmite, it wasn't quite so bad.

And after seemingly hours slopping around the digestive system of the hen, I managed to take a detour into the reproductive system.

Woot!

Still... not a journey I'd like to repeat again...

Anyway, I know you'd love to:

Xotob Wrinkle Cream
       
     
Xotob Wrinkle Cream

My new wrinkle cream has Revita-Wrinkle technology and Creaserocides to give you that straight from the beauty saloon look.

It's expensive, but... I'm worth it.

Yup.

Tongue tied after tongue twisters
       
     
Tongue tied after tongue twisters

Matron said I needed to improve my diction and enunciation, so she sent me on a week long course reciting tongue twisters with professor McTwizzle in section 61.

Woot!

Sadly though, seventeen days into the week and just as I was mastering red lorry yellow lorry, I had a terrible accident that rendered me incapable of continuing.

*sobs*

Still...on the positive side, nobody else had lasted that long before, so I'll wear my new fangled twisted tongue with pride.

Yup.

My new contact lenses will take some getting used to
       
     
My new contact lenses will take some getting used to

I only went in for an eye examination, next thing I knew I was under general anasthetic for the "fitting" of my new contact lenses...

It's a little bit more drastic than I thought it would be...

*sobs*

Keeping my lenses in tip top condition
       
     
Keeping my lenses in tip top condition

It's good to give your lenses a thorough scrub every day or so to make sure they don't grow moss.

There's nothing worse than a mossy lens.

Strange though... these particular lenses haven't worked ever since I started my de-mossing regime.  Still... you can never be too careful where moss is concerned...

Nosiree.

Scrub scrub scrub.

Pushing up daisies whilst simultaneously providing sustenance for worms
       
     
Pushing up daisies whilst simultaneously providing sustenance for worms

It's a hard life.

One minute I was there peeling potatoes in the Institution's 13th floor kitchen, and then the very next minute, I found myself being ravaged by a particularly feisty clump of rhubarb and having to take the only available exit I could find.

Had I not forgotten the relative elevation of the kitchen's window above ground level, I might have reconsidered which exit was most suitable... but I didn't, and anyway... the rhubarb was giving me a horrifically horrid stare that could only indicate it was becoming sentient - so time wasn't on my side.

So, as I sailed down the 13 floors towards the flowerbeds below, I couldn't help but think of how I'd crumble that rhubarb just as soon as I could reincarnate into some other fabulous being capable of taking on an opponent quite so fearsome.

So yup... here I find myself pushing up daisies and providing sustenance for worms...

...and I fear I've soiled my pants too.

But... Mr. Rhubarb... your days are numbered...
 
Yesiree.

In an independent survey 99 out of 100 men said they preferred blondes
       
     
In an independent survey 99 out of 100 men said they preferred blondes

Hard to believe, but I guess surveys can't be wrong.

The worry
       
     
The worry

Sometimes it's unbearable.

Sometimes.

Yup.

We can make you better...
       
     
We can make you better...

So the TV commercial says.

A nip, a tuck, the odd injection of a dubious chemical to make you more beautiful.

Rejoice.

Love chemicals.

Enjoy the new you.

Yup.

We are but flesh and blood...
       
     
We are but flesh and blood...

We are but flesh and blood.  And bone.  And hair.  And stuff.  And possessions.  And lust and greed and desires and feelings that can't be ignored or... we are but flesh and blood.  We cannot help what we are.

Yup.

In hindsight, maybe professor Biggins shouldn't have brought his pet polar bear into the class today?
       
     
In hindsight, maybe professor Biggins shouldn't have brought his pet polar bear into the class today?

But the kids were so curious...

So very curious.

Were, obviously, now.

Yes... but I guess none of that matters anymore.

No.

Yup.

That'll teach me for eating a Vindaloo last night
       
     
That'll teach me for eating a Vindaloo last night

Matron wasn't happy and she set me the task of cleaning up after my... accident.  17 hours later and I have to say I'm beginning to enjoy it.  Woot!

And I guess it could have been worse... at least this time around I didn't need reparatory rectal surgery.

Nope.

Happy times.

Yup.

I just love babies!!
       
     
I just love babies!!

I think that's why they give me a new one every day!

Yup.

An experienced user of the Ear-o-Tron 2000 can achieve a 53% ear cleaning success rate
       
     
An experienced user of the Ear-o-Tron 2000 can achieve a 53% ear cleaning success rate

It's certainly helped me to remove a little excess matter.

And then the Flibblizer gun became sentient
       
     
And then the Flibblizer gun became sentient

Crikey...

Everything's normal. Nothing to see here. Move along now.
       
     
Everything's normal. Nothing to see here. Move along now.

I appear to be stuck between parallel universes.

Eagerly anticipating the wet tea shirt competition
       
     
Eagerly anticipating the wet tea shirt competition

Matron told me that I probably shouldn't go to a wet tea shirt competition because it's full of strange men lusting after milk dispensers.

But what does she know?  Milk sounds like the perfect accompaniment to tea shirts!  I have to admit though... I'm a little worried about withstanding the boiling water they'll throw over me without sustaining too many 3rd degree burns.

*sigh*

Still, on the positive side, with each tea shirt containing 480 teabags I'll get the equivalent dose of 21 cups of tea in one osmosisy hit!

Woot!

Yup.

I was never any good at Movember
       
     
I was never any good at Movember

Nope.

It was the last time they had a relay race in the nuclear reactor
       
     
It was the last time they had a relay race in the nuclear reactor

Seemed like a good idea at the time...

The daily swim in the purification tanks of sector K9
       
     
The daily swim in the purification tanks of sector K9

Always seems to give me that deep-down dissolved sensation.

The day they realised they needed to introduce drug testing at clown school
       
     
The day they realised they needed to introduce drug testing at clown school

Oh how they all laughed...

So much laughing.

At least, I think it was laughing...

I think...

The mysterious case of the mysterious case
       
     
The mysterious case of the mysterious case

I wonder what's in it?

The other Cinderella
       
     
The other Cinderella

They didn't write fairy stories about her.  And even if they had, she'd have burnt them anyway...